Here is the talk I wrote for church today. I pretty much said what was written. It was a good learning experience and I may be glad the stress of it is over. Hope you enjoy! A:

Good Afternoon, brothers and sisters.  I am Alice Ficklin.  I am married to Reuben, who I met in an old single adult ward.  You know, the wards for the old 31-40 year olds who haven't gotten married yet, the true menaces to society.  We are truly a miracle of that ward and I am very glad that I found Reuben.  We were married in June, so we are pretty new to this ward.

I knew when Brother MacAffe was called to the bishopric, that I was in trouble.  I have known him for many years first, as a co-worker and he is currently my neighbor and   landlord.  I should have guess this day and this talk would come.  But because of the topic I have been asked to speak about, which is forgiveness, I gladly take on this assignment, even if the size of this crowd scares this teacher who is used to only about 20 kids in class.  I do well with teens, mainly because I have the power to fail them or send them to the principal's office, but you all make me a bit nervous, I can't send you away or lower your grade!  

It is almost funny to me that often when I am asked to speak or teach in church, the lesson that I am supposed to teach is actually a lesson that I was supposed to learn at that particular time in my life.  Forgiveness is something that has been on my mind a lot recently.  Often when we hear the word forgiveness in the church arena, we automatically think of the Savior's atonement and the forgiveness we all need and seek from him.  This is a huge key of the Gospel but I also feel we need to look at forgiveness in another important way, which is the aspect of forgiving others.  

In our day, the concept of "An Eye for an Eye" is prevailent.  Often, we think when we are offended, hurt or wronged in any way that we are justified in feeling angry, or offended and this isn't true.  Sure, it sometimes feels good to stomp our feet or maybe even yell real loud to get things off our chest, but in the end that anger can only hurt us.  

I have a couple of different and interesting groups of students.  One is a group of seniors that I have had in my advisory class for the past three years.  Their attitude often reflects the worldly concept that revenge is the answer and that what goes around comes around.  When asked what they should do if they witness bullying in the hallways at school one boy mentioned the fact that he would do nothing because he knew that bully would get in trouble and then turn around and go after him.  Another student alluded to the fact that if somebody were to disrespect him, he would disrespect him right back because the behavior of the other person was inexcusible.  How silly this philosophy of men is, that they think their behavior is justified because it mirrors another person's behavior.

Another group of students that I work with are in my Student Leadership class.   When we have talked about disrespect and even severe offenses like emotional abuse, they respond a little different because they are on a different level being required by my expectations to rise above these common failures of thinking.  This week one student said: "You are only in control of yourself and your reaction to others.  You cannot other people."  As you can imagine, I was very proud of this young leader, but I have also done a lot of inter-reflection on myself and how often I too fall into the category of excusing my behavior and reactions because I feel I have been wronged.  

There just isn't justificaiton in these feelings,  in Matthew 5:38-44: "Ye have heard that it hath been said, An aeye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not aevil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right bcheek, cturn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.  And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.aGive to him that asketh thee, and from him that would bborrow of thee turn not thou away.  Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt alove thy bneighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, aLove your benemies, cbless them that dcurse you, do egood to them that fhate you, and gpray for them which despitefully use you, and hpersecute you; That ye amay be the bchildren of your Father which is in heaven."

It is easy to love our neighbors when compared to loving our enemies, those who curse, hate, and use us, but we are required to both love and forgive these people.

In Doctrine and Covenants Section 64 verse 10 reads:  "I, the Lord, will aforgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to bforgive all men."

We are commanded to forgive others.  In fact, in order to be on the right track on our journey here and to receive forgiveness ourselves, we must have a forgiving attitude.  

President Uchtdorf spoke of this  "Forgiveness for our sins comes with conditions. We must repent, and we must be willing to forgive others. Jesus taught: “Forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not … [stands] condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin”3 and “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.” 

(If there have been too many blessings, then testify here, if not, continue forward!)

I think the concept of forgiving others reflects our devotion to Christ as well as our conquering of the natural man, for the natural man is often out of control and not in check.  Acting like in a natural man kind of way is the easy route and it usually keeps us from blessings.

President Uchtdorf hits on this idea when he said, "Jesus said it is easy to love those who love us; even the wicked can do that. But Jesus Christ taught a higher law. His words echo through the centuries and are meant for us today. They are meant for all who desire to be His disciples."

To become a disciple of Christ we must love and forgive those around us.  We must rise above the natural reaction to become annoyed, angry and  judge others, for we too are not perfect. President Uchtdorf reminds us of this: "We are not perfect.The people around us are not perfect.19 People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way. Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way."

The Lord's way is always the better way.

May we all go forward with a renewed desire to forgive all of those around us.  
I know that if we learn to forgive that our lives will be blessed and better.  

I will close with my favorite part of President Uctdorf's talk: "Brothers and Sisters, let us put down our stones.
Let us be kind.
Let us forgive.
Let us talk peacefully with each other.
Let the love of God fill our hearts.
“Let us do good unto all men.” 

I testify that as we forgive we will also be forgiven.  We have a Heavenly Father who loves us and wants to bless us abundantly.  It is usually us who get in the way of those blessings.  We are all works in progress and the atonement is key to our salvation.  Christ lives, he died for us, he waits for us to place our burdens at his feet.  May we ever be becoming more like him is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

One of the best "attitudes" we can have is that of gratitude.  No matter who we are, we always have more or better off than somebody around us.

Take a moment and look around.  What are you thankful for?  Is it the house you live in?  The people around you?  Maybe it is a favorite piece of clothing or a picture.  Whatever it is at this moment, that you thought of, didn't thinking of how thankful you are for it make you feel good inside?

I know that when I have an attitude of gratitude, my life seems much more full and that I feel better.  I like to keep a list of the things I am thankful for on a whiteboard in my kitchen.  I was inspired by amazing roommates a few years ago to do this and it truly has blessed my life.

I think when we have a grateful heart, we are more apt to see what we can do to help those who aren't as fortunate as we are.  I also think that we are less likely to judge others or ourselves to what Mr. or Mrs. Jones have.  I also think that being grateful helps you have a good attitude and you treat all Joneses in general better.
 
When we are not grateful, we feel as if we are in despair much of the time.  We often lust after things that we don't even need thinking that they will make us happy. We think more will make us happy, forgetting that there really is no end to more. Loving and appreciating all that we do have makes us better people.  We need to remember that wants and needs are different and most of us have exactly what we need in our lives. 

I challenge you to write down ten things you are thankful for and see for yourself how by so doing you get a cuddly little warm sweater around your heart.   

Here are my ten:
1.  A comfortable house to live in.
2.  A wonderful husband who works hard to do many things for us.
3.  A new family who has taken me in whole-heartedly and has shown much kindness.
4.  A mother-in-law who is so kind and makes amazing apple crisp.
5.  Friends who support and care about me.
6.  Enough money to take care of us.
7.  A bike that rides to work well.
8.  The smells of fall.
9.  Football season.
10.  A body and brain that help me learn new things and be able to enjoy many things in life.

I just put on my cuddly warm sweater, I hope you do so as well!

There are few times where I am upset by things.  I am pretty easygoing and don't easily take offense.  I do get very angry, however, when I come across trash randomly dropped along my path in life.

Many times when I find said trash, it is actually less than ten feet from an actual garbage can.  Really people, we have become that lazy?  Ten feet?  I don't even understand why somebody would feel okay with dropping a piece of trash when there isn't a trash can closeby.  Usually, we have pockets somewhere on our person where we can put our trash, and, if we don't have pockets, we always have hands that can carry our trash until we are closer to a garbage can(except for people who have lost their hands or been born without them, and to you, I apologize!).  

Why do some humans think that it is other people's jobs to pick up after them?  Or do they actually think that there is this magic force that makes junk just disappear?  

I used to just get really aggravated by seeing trash along my path.  I would secretly swear and comment to myself about the idiots that roam the earth, my beautiful earth.  I really like to think that when I am out wandering in nature, that it is my nature and nobody is around or has ever been along that path of solitude.  That is very hard to imagine when there is a plastic bottle or an empty cigarrette package on my path.  I am then constantly reminded that I never really have a space that is just mine.

I now try to pick up as much trash as I can while walking along.  I have made a commitment to make the world less trashy and give the gift of clean paths to my fellow earthlings.  I still may swear and complain about the person who did the littering, but the paths will be better than I found them and maybe, just maybe somebody will feel like they are the only human enjoying the space in their moment, in their nature. The balancing of garbage in my hands is worth the fight, and maybe I should always carry a plastic bag to collect the litterbugs sins so I don't feel awkward carrying large amoungs of trash along the way.

So, quit littering, if you are a trash dropper, and join me in picking up after the lazy bums who can't walk ten feet to deposit their trash in the correct bin! We all deserve a bit of solitude in our paths and we each can make our world a better place by so doing.

I LOVE babies.  I am also very lucky because I have a great friend who keeps having babies just so I can hold them.  Funny, right? I am sure that me having babies to hold is not her only reason for having babies, but I like to think so. In order to keep enjoying babies and being able to hold them in their cuddle-into-you state, you must have an endless supply of babies, because babies do not keep.

Babies have this weird ability to grow quickly.  One day they are newborn and the next they are graduating from high school.  Time with a baby is not very long. 

So, we must take every opportunity to hold a baby.  Sleeping or not, a baby must be held. So, this means today, I will be holding Baby M.  In fact, I usually monopolize baby time and nobody else in the room gets a chance to hold said baby.  So, if I am around and there is a baby around, you better get to holding that baby quickly before I take over!

I do not understand how some people can ignore or neglect their own babies.  Seriously, God makes babies cute for a reason.  The crying, diaper changes and feeding take tolls, but goodness babies are cute and we must love them. 

With that said, I am off to make faces at the million babies that go to church with me.